Where the Hell is my Prince Charming??!!
You know, I think every woman has days like this.
Where the comfort of pillows and blankets whisper sweet nothings in your ear, and the reality of daylight reminds you that no matter how hard you try, it isn't going to matter. Now, don't get me wrong, most days don't begin like this but somehow it happens and the litany of reasons of why NOT to get out of bed begins. Some call it amotivational syndrome, some call it depression, and well...most just call it lazy. I've taken my meds today so I'm guessing it's just lazy. Dishes need to be washed, laundry needs to be done, groceries need to be bought, homework needs to be finished...and a shower needs to be taken. And the people in my head ask me, "What the fuck for??"
Sigh. Who am I trying to fool, persuade, or con? Today I don't care. I did all those things for years and still ended up alone, lied to, manipulated, and used. They also whisper sweet nothings...these men I've shared my heart and bed with. Why and how could I believe every syllable uttered...and hang onto every breath like their lungs were contained within my own chest? Where does this overwhelming and absolutely ridiculous need birth from that controls my cells and forces me to make movements I wish I didn't??? Why in the hell why???
Oh to have a strong man hold you, caress your hair, kiss your cheek, and tell you that you are the most wonderful woman...ever. It motivated me to try harder for him, to be better for him, and that his perception of me filled in the ever so empty craters left by relationships past. His eager eyes lapped at my skin, and his fingertips measured every centimeter of my sensuality. His tongue against my breasts made me absolutely infinitely complete... and today I awake to a flabby shallowness within my skin. My eyes are weathered and my legs desolate. I want to claw at my ribcage and brutally dismember what's left. Who needs these pieces that defile??? The heart that molests, and the lungs that manipulate? I don't want to be this anymore. Where is the woman he succulently admired...
She still awakes alone. Perspiration clings to the lonely limbs...and her heart beats slowly...
Why do these men with which I've shared my heart leave? disappear? dissolve into someone else's sunset?
I await my Prince Charming to grasp me tightly against his heaving chest, as I breathe in his adoration.
And hopefully, this time, we will fly away (together).
Where the comfort of pillows and blankets whisper sweet nothings in your ear, and the reality of daylight reminds you that no matter how hard you try, it isn't going to matter. Now, don't get me wrong, most days don't begin like this but somehow it happens and the litany of reasons of why NOT to get out of bed begins. Some call it amotivational syndrome, some call it depression, and well...most just call it lazy. I've taken my meds today so I'm guessing it's just lazy. Dishes need to be washed, laundry needs to be done, groceries need to be bought, homework needs to be finished...and a shower needs to be taken. And the people in my head ask me, "What the fuck for??"
Sigh. Who am I trying to fool, persuade, or con? Today I don't care. I did all those things for years and still ended up alone, lied to, manipulated, and used. They also whisper sweet nothings...these men I've shared my heart and bed with. Why and how could I believe every syllable uttered...and hang onto every breath like their lungs were contained within my own chest? Where does this overwhelming and absolutely ridiculous need birth from that controls my cells and forces me to make movements I wish I didn't??? Why in the hell why???
Oh to have a strong man hold you, caress your hair, kiss your cheek, and tell you that you are the most wonderful woman...ever. It motivated me to try harder for him, to be better for him, and that his perception of me filled in the ever so empty craters left by relationships past. His eager eyes lapped at my skin, and his fingertips measured every centimeter of my sensuality. His tongue against my breasts made me absolutely infinitely complete... and today I awake to a flabby shallowness within my skin. My eyes are weathered and my legs desolate. I want to claw at my ribcage and brutally dismember what's left. Who needs these pieces that defile??? The heart that molests, and the lungs that manipulate? I don't want to be this anymore. Where is the woman he succulently admired...
She still awakes alone. Perspiration clings to the lonely limbs...and her heart beats slowly...
Why do these men with which I've shared my heart leave? disappear? dissolve into someone else's sunset?
I await my Prince Charming to grasp me tightly against his heaving chest, as I breathe in his adoration.
And hopefully, this time, we will fly away (together).
Ah but my dear love a prince charming is not necessary for you to feel that life is wonderful and filled with great surprises but the desire to live it to the fullest is.
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